The Chrisley's Are Going To Jail, T-Swift Tickets + Relationship Talk!

In this weeks episode we have a little pop culture chat and dive into our personal experiences with romantic relationships. From red flags to our attachment styles, we cover it all and share what we have learned about love in the process.

Transcript

0:07

That song. Oh yeah. Hey, cry Babies back for week two, back again. We are, we are. We're back. Yeah, we have been by being today. Today we've been knocking out content. Yeah. So we've gotta get better mics though. These mics are just, yeah. Katie was stressing before this. Y'all It was just in a horrible mood. So hopefully this puts me in a little bit. Yeah. Of a better mood. She's fine now cause we got a working. But yeah. Welcome to the pod. Annoying. Welcome. Welcome everybody. We're putting negativity out. Positivity in. Positivity in. And we're gonna start, I know you said you had a question. Oh yeah. I do have a question before we get into our little pop culture talk cuz we got some things to talk about. Um, I have a question. Okay. What? I'm nervous. It's something to be nervous about. I'm just honestly being really dramatic about it. Okay, go for it. So have, is there anything that you've lost lately and you can't find it and it's just really frustrating? Oh, a hundred percent. Really? Yeah. Okay, so I've been looking for these hair clips. I bought Okay, y'all, just a back story. She made this sound so serious. Like, she was like, I have a really important question. I was like, are you, I literally asked her, I was like, are you mad at me? Like, what's going on? The reason why is because I was sitting there getting dressed to come over here so we could film, and I wanted to do like my hair clips in my hair, like on the sides. Wouldn't that be cute? Yeah, that would make, yeah, and I still haven't been able to find them. I went to Nordstrom Mac weeks ago at this point, and I still can't find them. I cannot find them. They're the cutest, most minimal looking hair clips. They're like big silver like hair clips. Ooh, you just slide them in. I've been wanting to like do your makeup and stuff. No, they're like actual hair accessories that you can wear. Like, oh shoot. I want the ones that you clip back so you can do your hair. You know how everyone has those? I've been trying to find them. I don't, Katie, I can't find my hair accessories. I'm sorry. She's like, oh, No, like back to me actually. Oh, I want my hair clips so bad. And the Nordstrom Mac bag. I'm afraid to throw it away because I feel like they're in there. But I've checked Have you check a million times. It's your, it's time to throw it away. I'm pissed. Really? Time to throw it away. Cause they're so cute. But anyways guys, that's sad. I'm sorry. I know, I know. It's kind of, off topic to what we're actually gonna talk. But, but we've got some pop culture things. So you do, let's start with fraud, and jail. Let's talk about fraud. Eva, what's their name in the chrisleys? The Chrisleys. Todd and Julie. Christs listen though, I don't think, I think they should have gone to jail for longer. You really? I think they got out clean 12 and seven years. Yeah. Why did, do you know why she got, why she don't? Cause they're, cause we were married. Don't know anything about the situation. We don't really know that much. Yeah. I don't think either one of us really knows. We just smart. I'm not smart. I don't know They're just two silly, goofy girls just talking about pop culture. Okay. Literally, I, okay. Well, the thing that I heard about a couple days ago was that it was going to be like 22 years, like that he was gonna get 22 years and then only got 12 and the, she was trying to literally tell them, No, they didn't mean to. And it's like, uh, you skipped that on like seven years of taxes. Hashtag tax evasion. You are avoiding paying your taxes. Okay. You know what I was thinking though? I was like, not me sweating like my hundred dollars like the IRS is gonna give me. And I thought they're gonna give men literally they don't give a shit about, they're like, what's happen? We should care about the millions that are not getting paid. Right, exactly. Like$500. It's like a lot too. It's like five years, I think like$20 million in tax even. I don't think it was just that though. I think they were doing like fraudulent banker stuff too. Yeah. Wow. Cause I know Julie is serving seven and he's serving 12. I know, I She actually did a lot. Or if she's just like part of the crime because she's, yeah. Well cuz like, so, you know, I'm like a real housewives like stand and so in the Real Housewives of New Jersey years ago, this was a while ago. At this point, Teresa. From that franchise went to jail. No. And her husband also like accomplished. She served time. She served time basically for him. His his like mess. I'd be so mad. Yeah. And so, and you know I'm snitch. That's my favorite. But I mean, she's so loyal. Like she's snitch. I love her. I'm like, this is a, there, well actually I don't even know her actual last name now cuz she's married, remarried, but a big fan. fake fan. You're not a true fan. Um, but yeah, like she just was the dotting wife, really loyal, taking care of the kids and she would just like sign up it and like, and she ended up going to jail and missing and yeah. And I think her parents actually. Like, I don't know if it was her mom or her dad or one of her parents actually passed away while she was in prison. Oh, that's sad. I was thinking about it and I was like, his kids I think are older. I don't, I literally don't know. He has two that are minors still, Grayson and Chloe. So you know more than me. I have no idea. Yeah. But it makes me sad cuz I'm like, think about all the Christmas like family gathering. They seem a really tight knit family. 12 years, you don't get. data model and like again, they also did some shit, but also like, because they're famous, I wonder if they're gonna get like some kind of deal where that's not gonna actually be what they serve. That's what I think too, because that's a lot. I heard they had to be on parole though after for like three years. Yeah, but I wonder if they're, someone's gonna, is it called post bail? What? What's the word? I don't know. Like bond them out. We don't know. Like bail them out. We just sound like bond. I'm such a liar now. I mean by lawyer friend to come and tell me. We do. Yeah, so we wanted to like chat about that a little bit, even though we literally have no idea what we're talking about. But the next thing we want talk about and is for my dear friend, my Katie girl. I actually have my hand in the bucket on this one. Yeah, she's a, she's a swifty. You guys, I'm not much of a swifty, but my dear friend talk about it. Here's the tea. Yeah. I had somebody. She said, Hey, you wanna come? I said, yes, we'll meet in in Atlanta, Georgia. I said, beautiful. And literally we got the presale and I think someone waited in line for seven hours, like a friend of a friend. And literally we were on the website getting the ticket, like we thought we'd gotten tickets. I'd Venmo her, I was like, here's my money. Take it. Because we all thought that she had gotten the tickets and she literally was like, no, that was the website before. It's like confirmed. And someone had gotten the tickets that we wanted and then we were gonna do the Capital One. Literally waited in line for two hours, didn't even get in. Or maybe even longer than two hours. And then literally the next day we were like, okay, on Friday we're gonna do the general sale. No, literally Ticketmaster comes out and it's like, sorry, no sale. Like we sold all the tickets, which I heard. And that was a presale. Yes. So that was like the people that got the Capital One access, people would literally go the credit card. Credit card and they public sale. Yeah. They got the credit card just to get the ticket. Like, to just try and get, cuz Capital One offered it to like all of their people. Yeah. Um, I'm a, a little bit hurt, but it's fine. Mm-hmm. I don't, I'm not like obsessed with this album currently, but because it's gonna be like an ERA'S tour, the kind of tour it is. Yeah. Where it's like all of her albums, I love multiple of them, so I know I would love this tour and I I do really like, like the hits off this album. Yeah. And a few others, but I was just like, awesome. Not people waiting in line. That's crazy. Shook. That's so crazy. I mean, there was so many people that like, I know, like when I got on my Instagram, their stories were just like, just like they were waiting and waiting and waiting for tickets. And then I was on Twitter and I was just like, did you see what she posted? I saw that, but this was before she even posted that, oh yeah, I'm seeing the prices of this stuff. And I'm like, it's ridiculous. What the hell is happening right now? I think she's really mad at Ticketmaster probably because she was like, uh, we, she said in her, I don't know if she tweeted it or Instagram, but she was like, we asked them multiple times if they could handle this capacity and they were like, yeah, yeah, it's fine. And I saw tweets to take a master that was like, you had one job, literally one job is to sell tickets and you can't even do that. No. I'm like, awesome. Great. Yeah. Just a dark, dark day in the Swifty universe. It really is. Should we do our, should we kick off a relationship one with seeing if things are green flags? Yeah. Or red flags. Yeah. So Katie has a little something something before we hop. I have a little game. And I'm gonna read them and we're just gonna say if it's like a green flag or a red flag. Okay. Okay. Um, texting you all day. It's a green flag. I think that's a green flag. I think if it's in the beginning it's like, uh, yeah. So, but things are giving me the, I way more motivated. That's, yeah. So like, I love that you said that because. In the beginning stages of relationships. Yeah. I'm definitely a girl that gets turned off by like feeling like you're laying on a little too thick. See, and I, I wanna be love bombed Yeah. But, but now I don't. Yeah. Like past me loved like, yeah. If you are like, obsessed with me, amazing. Now I'm kind of like this so fun because it's like you're starting over on like, starting like who you are romantically and like I'm scared. scared. It's terrifying. Girl. I'm scared too. And I'm, for me in a whole, no. Oh, just in a whole, I think you're gonna be just fine sister. She's a hot commodity. I'm not gonna go into it, but gonna be spill the tea, but I think not gonna spill too much tea. We're just gonna drop a little bit of drops on the table and spill. And y'all can figure out the rest. Giving small gifts early on in the dating stages. I think that's green box. I think if it's small gifts, yes. I think it depends on what kind of relationship we're talking about. Like if this is clearly like a, like a sugar daddy situation that's very different. No, I think it really is. Like you're just like in the early dating stage, let's say less than six months. Yeah. I mean I think, I think that one's kind of hard to say, whether it's a green or a red. Oh, really? The gifts. Yeah. Uh, you, you can gimme gifts because who wouldn't who, who wouldn't like want gifts? No. Yeah. But I also think too I thought you were gonna say that's a red flag. It can be, yeah. It's definitely situation, but it's a small gift. So I'm thinking like, oh, I was here and I thought about you and got you this, and it really just of like the person I am, I'm really suspicious and you are so suspicious. I'm like, I'm way too naive. I'm like, are you doing this? To like control me and say like, if that is back in my face, like, why are you doing this? Yeah. Y'all, yeah, I'm not, I'm, I'm, I'm a tough cookie. In the beginning of relationships, I kind of feel like, I feel like Corey went back to the, I say sorry to your boyfriend. I feel like he But yeah. So asking to hang out more than twice a week, I think that's a green flag. That's, I think if you're not asking me to hang out, why are we dating? Yeah, that's, and it didnt say when in the relationship it was. So it's like, that's a green flag. That's a green flag. What? Um, yeah, this one is calling you mine. Like if someone's like, oh, you're mine. I like that. Oh, okay. I think, I think, I don't like, that's my, I don't know. I think it can be kind of cute. Maybe if you've been dating for a while. Yeah. Um. But I think in the beginning it'd give me ick now. Like I think I'd be like it, I'm not yours. Me right now. Like I am my own person. You know what I mean? Like I think that would gimme the ick now. But I think in like a long term relationship, I think that's cute. Yeah. Kinda shows you still care and like you still are really loving that person, you know? Well, cuz I want someone that, you know, I want them to be just as confident in themselves and like when they're telling me how they feel and whatever. So I'm like, lay it on me. Tell me. But like also like, don't lay it on me cuz like, I don't know, that's kind of contradictory. But don't do too much. Just don't. Okay. Introducing you to their friends and family within the first six months of dating. I think that's okay. I think that's okay. I think it's kind of good to see at least friends. Like who, especially friends. Who are you hanging out with? Like who's your circle? Cause your circle's gonna become my circle. Mm-hmm. So who are we? Agreed. What's going on here? Agreed. I think family's okay too. I mean, I think if you're just like. Going over for a casual dinner or like going out to eat and meeting them or something. I think meeting them a couple times is fine. Cause I mean, but some people, like for me, I, my mom has met everyone that I've dated. Yeah. Been in an actual relationship with. Um, so like as far as her, I just trust her judgment. So it can be someone that like, like I wasn't really that serious about like my baby's relationship. I was just like, okay, like I think he's cute. We're hanging out. Like he was not it. No, he wasn't. He wasn't. But you know, no hard feelings but just, he just wasn't. But I made my mom meet him cause I'm like, I've been hanging out with him, I've been going to his place. Like yeah. I think that's smart for Yeah, sure. But as far as me, I never even met him. I'm sorry. They're not wasting my time and doing that. Cause I don't have time for my family to be like, well where's so and so? Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. It's not your business actually. Exactly. Um, consistently seeing a therapist. I think that is the biggest screen flag. That's dream. Yeah. But that's the biggest screen flag I could ever receive. That's a dream. And if we go together, like if we're like engaged or something going together that it'd marry me right now. So do you think, like even just from the jump, like you think it's good to just have a therapist? What do you mean? From the jump? Oh, from like the get-go? Yes. Yes. Really. I mean, I think that if they're already going on their own, I'm like, uh, a staple king. Love to see it. Yeah. But I don't know a single guy that just goes on his own. I don't necessarily either. I'm like, even though, can y'all start? Wait, do I, can y'all start going? Or I, I do know that one of, I'm not go into super like, detail or anything, but I, I do know a guy. Has said like, you know what, I think I'm gonna work on myself and go to therapy and like start saying that. That's beautiful. And even then I'm like, pop off can pop off. We love a stable key. Exactly. So trying to work on themselves, which, I mean I feel like a lot of guys unfortunately don't No. Say things like that, but he has so we love it. Talking about making long term plans with you early on, no. Mm-hmm. That happened in my last relationship. I think literally the first date he said, uh, we're gonna go on a cruise. Have you been on a cruise? We're gonna go on one first to date. Really? No. Tino Shade. Yeah. And I mean, we did go on one, eight months later. We went on one. But it's like, I think that it was just really fast, I think. Yeah. So that can be definitely a red flag. Yeah, I think so too. Um, wanting to share locations. I think, again, that's just dependent on what stage you're in. Exactly. And you've been dating for if you're like mar or not married, but if you're like dating and live together. Yeah. And they just wanna know like. I've shared locations before. Yeah. Do you know at what point that was that you started sharing locations? Cause I think I remember actually when I did, no, when Corey and I started Oh, I was like, what? No. Um, I think it was when we, I don't actually know. I feel like it was like a year into it. Maybe. Maybe six months. Our relationship moved fast though. It did. Your relationship did move fast. So I don't know because we lived together, I was gonna say when we lived together, but that was about a month into staying. So I'm like, uh, yeah, I'm not sure. I think I wanna say it's when we like officially moved into a house together, but I don't remember really? Yeah, I don't remember. Yeah. Cory and I started sharing locations, I wanna say about six months into our relationship. Okay. And it wasn't like, and nothing happened. It's more of like a safety thing, I think. Right. Well, he had said something. It was being funny. And I was like, oh, like why not? Like, let me see your location. Yeah. so I kind of like slid that in there. He was like, okay, like whatever. And then we just had our locations, each other's location since. So I mean, I think it's a safety thing for sure. For sure. Absolutely. I think if you're like, I think me now would wait until I've moved in with the person again and that would be a while. You know what I mean? For sure. So it's like, you don't need to know my location. Like, like if it's like a couple months, you could still be about it. Several. That's that's very true. Like very true. making a point to plan all your dates. That's agreed. If I doing it, wait, wait. If they're making a point read again, making a point to plan all your dates, I think that's a green flag. And I think it's just by some vice versa or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a green flag. Of course. Of course. Um, calling you multiple times a day. Why are you doing that? Like Cory can literally call me whenever. I think that'd give me people and I would answer. Yeah. I think it'd be like why we've been together for like, like okay. Three years versus like thinking of more first together. Why are you doing that? Yeah. If someone's doing that in the beginning, a lot of these are like, its in the beginning and then as you're like 3, 4, 2, 3, 4 years. But by you, you know how it is. Like habits when you've been together. Yeah. Are just like, we've, there's been days where Corey and I, like we, we do talk every single day. Yeah. Sometimes just because both of us working. Yeah. We'll, we'll get texts. Well, and y'all don't live together. We, we don't live together. And so like, it'll be very off and on some days it's like, gosh, I haven't talked to him since this morning. And then at night, we'll FaceTime whatever. and some days it's like, we're, I'm having to FaceTime him like however many times. But I mean, I'm with him like a lot, even though we don't live together. So it's also, yeah, like you said, it's hard in the beginning. Don't be doing that. No, not at all. Like please don't, I'm not a clingy type person. So that's the other thing. Like that would just rub me the wrong way. I couldn't handle it. I'm trying to not be a clingy type person. Yeah. But that doesn't mean like, don't be like affectionate. Like I don't think you should focus on like trying to not be how you have been necessarily. Cause there's nothing wrong with that. Cause you could find someone that loves that. Ah, you know, that's sweet. Something I do well. Okay. Do we wanna share backgrounds of Yeah. Who we like? I don't know. Yeah, go for it. Pop off. Need to go first. I don't care. I can go. You can go. It really does not matter to me. Okay. Well, so I guess relationship history wise, I've had. two relationships, including the one that I have right now. Yeah. First one. It literally lasted four months. Four Wallaces. Yeah, it was four months. Wow. And he was gone for half of them cuz he was in the Air Force. Air Force Boy. So, yeah. And honestly, full transparency here. Okay. Okay. Oh, I'd love to hear it. What? I knew he wasn't it for me. Yeah, I knew that. I think you're excited though cuz it was your first relationship. It was my first like serious like relationship. Mm-hmm. not that I hadn't talked to guys before because I had, I was on a dating app before I had met him and even after that relationship I was on a dating app. Yeah. same dating app or just Yeah, it was the same one. Okay. and just, I love the attention talking to several guys. And like you do something about Lauren that I told her is like, literally a guy will say like, oh, I think you're so, or anyone, anyone could say, I think you're so pretty. And she's like, yeah, I know. But thanks. I'm like, that's awesome. And I literally, I strive, I got that from my mama I didn't hang out with her more. I'm like, I need know how to do that. That's what happens when you grow up and your mother literally sings to you almost every night and says, you are so me, can't you see? Okay. That's very sweet. That's, I feel like that's seriously where I get that from. But no, I loved the attention from that, but then he just stood out of like the pool of guys I was talking to at the time and we met, we were hanging out, loved hanging out with him. Yeah. And my brain hadn't like, got to the point where I was like, I wanna be in a relationship with him. It was, I like getting to know this person. Oh, I didn't know that. Going on dates with this person. Yeah. I like hanging out with him and getting to know him. Yeah. And when he had asked me initially to be, His girlfriend. I was just like, no. Like no, but I still like getting to know you. And it wasn't that, I didn't, I didn't know you said that to him. I don't remember you saying that to him. Yeah, I said, I said no. Oh. He asked me like two or three times to be his girlfriend before I said yes. I had no idea. Yeah. Pop off. Yeah. And I finally was like, fine. Like, quit asking me. And that's like you guys, that's when you know it probably. That's so stupid. Yeah. That's so stupid. And it was a short relationship to say the least well, wasn't he doing some things overseas? Yeah. Like I'm, yeah, he was, he was not faithful, so Hmm. Loved to see that. Yeah. And, and, but even then though, I think I just was over it so fast. Yeah. You honestly got over it in two weeks. Two weeks, yep. Ease. I, I, I know it was two weeks. I was mad about it, but then I was just like, okay. Well yeah. Back to the date So then how long between him and your now current did you We, so like when he and I broke up July of 2018, I think. And then, yeah. And then Corey and I started talking in December of that year. Wow. And we were in a That's insane. Yeah. And we were in a relationship by the following February. That is insane. Yeah. Yep. Do you think you have an attachment style? Well, everyone has an attachment style, but do you know about those and like how they Yeah, I've, um, I haven't gotten into them on a, like for me personally, you probably know a lot more about them Yeah. Than I do. Well, there's a book called Attached I really want to read. Mm-hmm. But the last time I really was into it was when I was in college still. Mm-hmm. and I took, um, a Psychology of Relationships class and we Oh, I love that. And we talked about that. So it's been years since I really got into it, but I'm not, I don't know what style I am. I've never taken like a quiz or anything. There's like secure, avoidant and anxious. What do you think? I mean, I think you're secure. Truly. Really? You might lean towards avoidant when you're like real, like something is really making you upset. Yeah. But like, okay. When you're upset, like anxious. I know I'm anxious. Yeah. Anxious will a hundred percent clinging to the person want to fix it. Like, you know, don't leave me. And then avoidance, I've gotta go see ya. And then secure is just like, can handle it. Like, okay, let's talk it through. Okay. So that's a good point to make. I think that's a really good read on me because. The thing about Corey and I mm-hmm. on our relationship, um, because of his previous situation before he was with me. and I'm not gonna get into like all that cause that's his business. Yeah. But, he kind of, he was hurt. Yeah. Whenever we met. And it was almost like he came in with rules, kind of like with rules. Yeah. It was, that's what it, it just felt like he kind of had like, listen, like his, his guard was up. Yeah. His wall was up. And I was just like, in my head I'm like, I'm feeling this guy. Like, we hung out the first time. I was like, that's gonna be my boyfriend. Yeah. I didn't even like told him that. Like, I don't even think I had actually said I had such a good time on that day. Where'd you guys go on your first date? we went to church Wait, that's giving me life. We went to church. I have no idea. Yeah, we went to church and then we went to eat at some Mexican restaurant and I wanna go to church on my first, next, first date. Yeah. so we went to church because we were trying to figure out a time to hang out. That's ad horrible. A Sunday was the only day We both were like, neither one of us had been to church, so we went to church and then we went to wait. That's amazing. And then I went to work that afternoon and I immediately was just like, yeah. Did we work together then? Uh, no, this was after. Oh yeah. Yep. That makes sense. And um, yeah, I literally got home and I was like, mom, that's my boyfriend. Like, I know it's my boyfriend, whatever, And then he friends me. Oh, love to see it. King Corey. I know. I like. Um, for me, but, um, yeah. So only for a bit? Yeah. For a little bit. Mm-hmm. Um, but to get back to the, the attachment style thing, he had told me like, Hey, when we have problems, I can't do like the, basically like he, he was like, we're not about to avoid it. We just wanna, we're gonna deal with it. Yeah. And I don't even wanna talk about it over text. He was like, if we have a problem, we're gonna FaceTime or talk in person. I love that. He, yes. I was like, that was very upfront. That's very mature. I was like, okay. Mind you, previous to that, I was, I am like queen of silent treatment, acting like you don't exist. Mm-hmm. You are the scum of the dirt on the bottom of my shoe. That kind of person. Then it was very like, final and just like, this is what, how it's gonna be, and if you're not gonna be that way, I can't do this. And I was like, Okay. So definitely can't do that in this relationship. So I feel like now I'm a lot better about confronting Yeah. Things and a lot more secure. But I think I can still be avoidant and like delaying talking about certain things and like whatever. It's kind of what I saying, like, I feel like you're pretty secure. But I feel like, yeah, if it's really bad or I don't know, if you're really upset, then it's like not gonna talk about it. He, cuz I will sit there and my jaw will just be like, so tight and like locked. I'm pissed, he just wants to talk about it and like, just work it out. Like, we don't like being mad at each other. Yeah. Like I, I, I really don't, it's uncomfortable just because of the way our relationship is. Yeah. It's very just like, we goof around a lot. We make fun of each other. We just talk shit. Like, I love, it's the best relationship though. I love that about it. And so when we have things to talk about, I think we're both kind of like, can we just like talk about this? So like, don't have to deal with like that's, yeah. So that's. that's my friend. You know, she read that so well. I think that is so, I feel like that's one thing you've kind of learned throughout this relationship. Do you feel like there's anything else that you've, you know, gotten better at or realized like, oh, I cannot be doing this in this relationship. Like, do you feel like you've learned anything from mm-hmm. being with him? Definitely. Like, I think I've definitely solidified my love languages too. And like What's your top two? My top two. So my top one's definitely acts of service. I think my second one's like gifts. Oh, okay. Because I really like when it just like small stuff, like this is my lowest of low, really So like me, it's just, it really like small things. Yeah. Like, I don't know if this falls under gifts. Maybe it does. Um, but. I'm a snob about water, for example. Like I just, I won't drink tap water, like whatever. Yeah. And he will, like, if he goes to a gas station or whatever, majority of the time he gets me like a bottle of water that I really like. Yeah. And it really is the little things, especially when you've been in a relationship for that long. Yeah. Or like remembering my order from a place. Oh, that's sweet. Like, things like that. Yeah. I really like that. and then just like he pumps my gas, like if he's in the car, like if I'm with him, he pumps my gas. I need that and Yeah. And that's great. just, I don't know. And I realize like physical touch is something that like, I've always like kind of had a problem with that. And him being a physical touch person. Yeah. Like that's something I'm like, I have. I have to be intentional too, like about things goes both ways for sure. Yeah. Like I have to make it a point, like when I see him and I walk through the door, like to give him a kiss, give him a hug, whatever, I'll be like, Hey, like what's up? Like whatever. You're like, what up? Bye bye. I'm like, no. Literally ignores him completely. Hi. Yeah. And so like that be really intentional about and like that's literally with anything. Cause even in my family I feel like, like me and my mom have a close relationship, but like we're not really physical touch people. Yeah. I'm not like touchy feely. No, I'm not touchy feely at all. But when I want it, I want it. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that makes sense. So I would say that too and just, um, I don't know, my mindset's a lot different because like we will get married. Like I feel very confident in that. And so just the way that I think is different cuz I'm like, no idea haring on my finger right now. But I just wanna be really intentional about. Decisions that I make because yeah, we do plan on spending our lives together a hundred percent value his opinion and stuff. So that's different. And like, I'm still selfish, but it's like I'm really selfish. It's like everything's fine, but it makes you like really reevaluate. Yeah. The certain things that you like, the way that you thought you wanted certain things to be. It's like, okay, what? Like, do I really want like to buy a house? Do I really want to have kids? Do I really want like Yeah, it makes you really Reva evaluate everything. Yeah. Cause it's real. Yeah. I'm like, oh my gosh, like 100%. We really sit and have like for real conversations about the future and it's just, that makes me so happy for you. I feel like it's exciting, but at the same time I'm just like, oh my God. Like, like this is happening. I don't believe that this is really what's happening. So yeah, that's just, I would say that's kind of what. has also changed. Yeah. About me too. I love it, Brandon. Yeah. I feel like I've seen you grow a lot in the last four years for sure. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. Even just like the avoidant, um, kind of attachment style, even with just, you know, work stuff or friendship stuff. I feel like you've gotten a lot more secure with like, sticking up for yourself. Exactly. Cause like I just, I can be very like, you know, I'm not gonna say anything because it's just not worth Yeah. Causing any problems. Like, I don't have time to like get into this whatever. But then like it's worse now. Yeah. It can be worse. And it's like sometimes you have to, you have to know when, okay, like I need to actually like speak up right now mm-hmm. and actually say something cuz it's not okay and I can have people treating me that way or like, yeah, whatever. So I definitely think, and I think like too, seeing like his friend. and like being a part of that. Like they, it's just crazy to me they've been roommates for so long. I know. That's so insane. Yeah. Just the fact that they all still get along and do love being roommates and they're all just chill with each other is really nice. And it's really nice to like be able to fit into that. It's so cool. Yeah. Y'all have a little group going. We do. We do. Yeah. It's a vibe. I love it. It's a vibe. Yep. So what about you, my friend? Wow. Um, well first to get married, first to get divorced. Well, I make a lot of humor jokes because that's just how you get through life, honestly. I would say, I mean, I've been in two relationships too, but the first one, let's not even dive into that one because that's just, we don't have to dive too much at all. Well, just, um, like first one was just college relationship. Mm-hmm. I mean, second one was too, but I think the first thing I wanna say with mine is like, I am try, I'm in my healing era mm-hmm. and I'm trying to be very intentional about like, my own personal growth. Mm-hmm. So I never want. What I say to seem like it's not a two-way street. Right. Because I did things for sure. And that's kind of why I ask about attachment style because I am anxious and I think he was avoidant and those are the two worst people to get together. Yeah. And I think both of us had unhealed trauma. Mm-hmm. A hundred percent. Mm-hmm. So to me, I feel like I've grown, I think I've grown so much, even just the short amount of time that I've been single. Mm-hmm. and like, you know, I don't know. It's just insane. I'm trying to read so many books. Mm-hmm. and listen to so many podcasts, just about, um, whatever it may be. And, you know, I've started my. Like divorce TikTok, which I Oh my gosh, love. Yeah, she's like, almost at 10 K, go follow me. Aw. I know. And that's been such a blessing in this healing journey. I will say though, like I would love to touch on, if you don't mind, just like the, you know, ending and just, I mean, for anyone that's going through like a breakup or a divorce or whatever, I'm just trying to like help as many people because there's so many of us. Yes. And you never know, you know what I mean? You like started sharing your journey. Yeah. And there's been such an outpour of like, people have popped off and people that like have, you've like inspired, they don't have anyone to like Yeah. To heal or like to start their own like little, you know, diary I guess. Yeah. Little, little TikTok I would say. Like, my divorce was so fast and people told me that this was the fastest divorce they've ever heard of. Yeah. And so, I mean, all my friends and family, like we all were just kind of like, What, like what? Just, I mean, I still tell people I feel like I'm in a fever dream two months out. Um, it'll be two months and a little over two months. It's only been two months. Yes. Which is insane. The changes that have happened are like changes that can happen in a year, it seems like. I know. I was thinking, I was just like, all right. Like I've told people I'm in my recluse mode. Like I'm just literally reading books, listening a podcast, working out, like working on my career. That's something I really want to do. Like I'd love to either write a book or start a blog about, you know, just mainly divorce, but I don't want it to just be about divorce. Um, I don't want like my life to revolve around divorce, but I do think that this is, like, I've never had a testimony before, like, you know, you hear people at church that are like, this is my testimony and I've always been like, I don't have anything to share. Like I have nothing important to share with people. Yeah. And now I finally feel like, oh, like this sucks, but like, God, is this what you're putting in my life? Like, is this part of the reason? Because I feel like, I mean, I've gone to divorce care groups. I'm the youngest one by 30 years. 20 or 30 years in these groups. Yeah. And it's like awesome. Yeah. Like there's nothing for 20 year olds. Do you wanna kind of talk about how like I know at first, cuz whenever things first happened Yeah. And like you started talking to me about it, whatever. Yeah. Which was so heartbreaking on my part. Cause I was just like, I just really peed for you and just as a friend. Yeah. That like, people were legitimately concerned for me Cause like Well and like, like you said, like you, you, I know you had shared that you just were so embarrassed at like, I was embarrassed being, yeah, I'm 24 and I'm divorced and I'm like, I, and I didn't know how to help you. Like the best I can do is listen. Yeah. A lot of people don't. Cause I'm like, I have no idea what even to say. Well, and I downplayed it a lot. Like, I was like, oh, it's just a breakup. It's just a breakup. No, it's a divorce. Like let's act like it was a divorce and like I can be. Like, I wanted to relate to people. Mm-hmm. like, oh, well what did you do in this breakup? All right. It's not the same thing. It can, it can be as close to the same thing as we wanna make it, but it's not the same thing. Like, there are logistics involved when you're divorced. Well, and that's why like, you having this community that you've found on TikTok is really helpful because like being able to relate to people is really a huge part, I think of the human experience because it is, our walks of life are so different. Even if they look really similar on the outside, the, when you get down to the nitty gritty, it can be very just different and unique to the person. So, and, and I think that's really good that you found people that like you can get on there. Do a video, whatever, and then you go look at the comments and it's like, it's so uplifting. That's crazy. I know. I, I just listened to a Jay Sheti podcast with Susan Crane. I think she's a psychologist maybe, but mm-hmm. And that is one thing, like if you're going through a hard time, go, please go listen to the Jay Sheti podcast, because that has been, I would say since I started listening to that, I've seen the most growth in like, who I am. Yeah. Um, yeah, there are a couple things I wanna touch on, but one is that I listened to that podcast and she was talking about the number one way to heal is through connection. And I loved that because I, I listened to that one maybe three days ago and I was like, holy shit. Like, that's what I'm trying to do. That's what I'm trying to build. It's just connection. So what you said, like the human experience, I think we have to lean on connection and I was so embarrassed. I still do feel like a burden to a lot of people. Yeah. Yeah. because I mean, I've, I stayed at, I stayed at a couple people's houses over and over and over. Yeah. And they always welcomed me with open arms, like, but I think that, like that anxious attachment style you have helped you. In a sense because once your whole life was flipped on its head. Yeah. And it was like, okay, like what was home is not home anymore. Yeah. You ran to your friends, your family. I did. And there's nothing wrong with that. That's what we should do. Mm-hmm. And again, it goes back to how our styles are very different. Yeah. Cause I can be very avoidant. Well, and I've talked to people too that are like, if it was me, I would've laid in bed all day. I would've laid in bed. I literally would just rot in bed. I would, I, that's what I would do. And like I have done that when I've been depressed. Mm-hmm. and stuff like, cause I've struggled with that. Yeah. Um, which you didn't an episode all about depression and like anxiety. Yeah. So you both have struggled with that? Yeah, we definitely should. Mm-hmm. And like, I thought that that was totally normal. Mm-hmm. to just be in my room. Hold up. Yeah. But then I realized, literally leaving my room, give me like 10 minutes and I'm immediately just like craving to like, Be back in my space. Really? It was crazy. Yes. See, I have to go, like for walks, I wanna be around people. I do think to a certain point I'm still like, I mean my therapist called it healthy distraction. Mm-hmm. I do still think I'm probably like maybe a little too booked and busy, but I think that for however long that I can do this, like, let's ride the productivity. Cuz for a while, I mean, when you first go through something like this, I mean long term breakup or divorce, I know I said like, let's not compare, but I think that this part is very similar is like when it first happens you are, you feel like the ground has been ripped from underneath you. Mm-hmm. Like there's just no hope. There's like, you have to just trudge through it probably for a month, like two weeks to a month. Like I was just, you know, crying all the time. And I mean, I even cried last night, like literally like I don't cry a lot, but I'll have little moments where I'm like, That is sad. Like that is sad that I had to go through, I literally looked to myself in the mirror last night and I was like, I'm so proud of you for everything you've done. I, you know, pay a hundred percent of the bills now. It's like, that's insane. So it's just, I was just like, I am so proud of you. But it does still feel like a fever dream. Like some days I'm like, there's no way I got a divorce. There's no way that I was even married. Yeah. There's no way that I even dated this guy. It was a whirlwind. It was a, I mean, everyone was like, that is the fastest thing we've ever heard of it. Really? And, and even like, to me, like it does not feel real. No, I know it doesn't because like, I was cool. with him been like everyone was literally, I like, it literally feels like you're talking about like a stranger. No, I, I like look at pictures now and I'm like, I don't even remember what we talked about. Like that was only two months ago. But I don't know if my brain is trauma blacked out. Yeah. But like literally, I'm like, I don't remember what we even said to each other, like what we talked about. And it's not like we were just like fight, fight, fight all the time. Yeah. Like, I mean, maybe more than I, maybe you always fight a little more than you actually think when you're in a relationship. Yeah. But it was like one big fight and then it was everything crumbled for like two weeks and then it was like, all right, I want a divorce. Yeah. And it's like, whoa, this is crazy. And I think something I have to realize too is, you know, I was someone who like picked, not picked bites, but if we, you know, got into a fight and very much like the anxious attachment style where I'm like, let's figure out now. I literally like wanted to pummel him until we, like, not physically actually, but you know what I mean? Like emotionally, like let's fix it, fix it, fix it. And that just, that ruins things. So I can't do that the next, that's something I'm like really taking away is I've learned so much about relationships now through like therapy and like, so what, you know, these books, so what does that mean then? Like what's the, what's the healthy part of that though? Cause it's like you want to fix it. I think you have to them space for as long. Yes. Like that's kind of what Okay. I think, you know, my therapist was like, you've got to, and I couldn't, I don't know why, but something in me couldn't do it. Like, if we got in fight, I couldn't give him, I thought every time we fought like, or had a bigger fight, I thought relationship over, like, I just was not healed, I don't think. Mm-hmm. And I don't think he was either. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing is like, if I was, um, doing good emotionally, then if we got into a fight, I was more secure securely fi. Like we could securely fight, like, you know, it was more calm, blah, blah, blah. I got pretty depressed over the summer and I think that's kind of flared up. Like I just like could not handle our fights. Like, cuz I think it's definitely two-way street, but I, I know the part that I played in it, you know what I mean? I don't know what he would say about it, you know, I don't know what he, if he would say like, oh I did this wrong, but I'm trying to come at it from a very much perspective of like, I did this wrong and I know I did this wrong. Yeah. Because I, I, you know, I think that it's easy to think about, oh my gosh, that person was so shitty to me, that person did X, Y, and Z. And it's like, okay, but first of all, what did you do wrong? Because it's two a street. It's just crazy cuz you, like, I think you're starting to realize now how well you're handling all of this. Thank you friend, because you, I don't know, people tell me that, but I'm like, I'm not sure because, because In the very beginning of you. Yeah. Just being like, friend, like, like I'm upset. Just like bawling her eyes out when I cried to her at a restaurant. Yes. And I was just like, she was like, I know this is serious. Cuz I've only seen her cry like this one other time. Yeah. And, and, and like you have not once talk shit. Thank you. Said a bad thing about him. Yeah. Thank you. And I can't say that I would handle it so gracefully as you, because I can be very like vindictive and very just like vile about, like, it just sounds, it makes me sound like so evil. But yeah. I'm not evil. It's just that like, no, but I think that's the go too. That's, it's like, Am I, and don't get me wrong, I'm not an angel. I definitely said things to my family in the beginning where I'm like, and I mean still, even if I'm hear something or whatever, I'm like, that is so But your ability to take accountability, your ability to take accountability, yeah. Is just, I try to, because I think about it too. I'm like, okay, he did this to me and like, if I'm not moving forward, what am I doing? I think that's what makes me think like, wow, you're doing so well because of the way things went down. Thank you. Yeah. I literally would've just like, I think anyone would've been like, uh, what? And you're, and you just, and, and it's, and like I know obviously you are still feeling emotions. Yeah. You. Cried a lot. You've been super hard on yourself about it, but you immediately were like, okay. Like so what? What's like, what do I do now? What's next? Yeah. Cause literally, I mean, I think it did help that I had to move because probably that sucked and that sucked living in an Airbnb. Yeah. And not having my things. Yeah. But I think I could not imagine living in the same house like Yeah. I just could not imagine it. And I, I think too, like when my mind starts to fixate on what happened, it's just kind of like, okay, it's already done. It's done with like whatever I'm thinking right now can't be changed. He did what he did. Mm-hmm. And I think it really does help. I told people this in the beginning, and I've told people this on TikTok too. People are like, well, I like how do you get over it? Or blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I almost think a divorce is kind of easier to get over it. Only in the sense that I'm like, okay, he signed those divorce papers. so to me, I'm like, right, we move on. It's final. Cuz you put it's final. It's not just a breakup where someone can come back and be like, please take me back. I messed up. Yeah. It's like, no, like you've, we signed, you literally set papers in front of me and I had to sign them. So it's like, it's almost easier in that sense because I think breakups, people are always like, what if my ex comes back? I don't think about that at all. So a breakup, it's very like open-ended and then like a piece of paper is like the door is like shut. Yeah. That's how I think. Like that sounds what, yeah, that's what I'm getting from that. Yeah, definitely. I think that's like one of the biggest differences. I think it, I think if we were just a breakup, I'd have been like, well, there's still hope. You know what I mean? And I think a lot of people have that and then it's like, no, in a divorce, it like whoever initiates the divorce usually makes it very clear. Yeah. That it's like, this is happening. Cause if you got to that point, like dang. Yeah. Yeah. It's insane. But that's, that's a little about, a bit about me, but honestly I really am just taking this time to like really grow, really focus on myself, um mm-hmm. and just. Honestly, I'm getting to the point now where, like you said, I can look back and be like, I did that so wrong. Like, you know, that was so bad of me. Or I shouldn't have done this, or I shouldn't have done that. And I'm not really looking at it like, why did this happen to me? I mean, I still have days, but a majority of my days I would say I look back on it or I try not to even think about it. I'm like, we're pushing for, I mean, I think about it, but it's more so like, what can I say to help others now. Yeah. And it's so, it's just so crazy cuz you never know what's gonna happen. Mm-hmm. in life and like, like, it's just crazy that you just decided to start talking about it on social media and literally like your, I guess digital blueprint, whatever at the moment. Prior to that was fitness. Yeah. Music. Yeah. And now, now divorce. It's a whole other world. Yeah. And like. You have, you like represent like a very small part of the divorce community, I guess? Yeah. Like, I don't know, I don't have any numbers, but I, I think us being 24, um, that's another thing. There's no, there's, and especially when you don't have kids, they're like, they're, anytime someone says something, they're like, oh, we'll just be glad you don't have kids. Yeah. And it's like, I love that. I, I totally agree. So happy we didn't have kids, but that doesn't make the pain any less painful. Like, you also have to be sentimental about like, Hey, I'm sure that's still really hard. Like a lot of people, a lot of like family, friends, whoever, not really people our age, they're like, that sucks. Like, that's so hard. But like older people are like, well, just be glad you don't kids. And it's like, I totally get that. Yeah, totally get that. It would've made things so much worse, dragging a kid through that. If someone's going through a breakup and someone's going through a divorce, they're both super painful. Super painful. And they both can be painful. Like when, like I wouldn't say, oh, well just be glad you're not going through a divorce. You know what I mean? It's like, oh yeah. So at this point, like what would you say is like the biggest lesson you've learned? Ooh, I think, I don't know. I think the biggest thing for me is just not putting so much into another person. Like not molding so much of me into another person and what they want to do and you know, going, just kind of following along. and gaining my independence back. A lot of it is just like, okay, where, who do I want to be now? Because truly when I got divorced, everyone was like, well, just do what you wanna do now. I didn't know that and I'm still figuring it out. Yeah. Like I don't, I didn't, I don't know, I just, I felt like I was always independent in the relationship, but then when I got divorced I was like, I have no idea who I am. Well that's a whole other thing, the codependency thing that we Oh, I was codependent for sure. So that's another thing like codependent for sure. So that's another thing I'm working through to learn like that balance of knowing you can depend on a person and having your own identity and the things you like to do. Yeah. I think And like those small things that like you like to do outside of this other person. Yeah. You know? A hundred percent. I think that's another thing too, is like just not letting a relationship move so quickly. So, um, soon. And also, yeah, just allowing myself to, I mean, really it's just about like hyping me up now, figuring out what I like. Yeah. Like I'm almost going through like the early twenties in my mid twenties now. Yeah. Like the early twenties where you like, figure out who you are and do all this stuff. I'm doing that now where I'm like, okay, time to figure out who I am, what I like, all of those things. And it still applies to you with like, how, you know, in your twenties, everyone tells you. It's like we, we are trying to mold ourselves into this blueprint that apparently has been laid before us by whoever did it, whoever did it f them because you suck. Yeah. Literally. I feel like now I'm at a point even where I feel the same way. Like I'm just like, you know what? Forget it. Like, This is what my life is right now. Yeah. And I'm going to make the most of it, do what I wanna do. That makes me feel happy regardless of what other people have to like say about it. Yeah. And that took a few years, I think, to come out of, and I think it's also has to do with the fact that I was in college. Yeah. Because even though like I don't regret going to college, like that's part of like the blueprint that people say like, oh, this is what you should do a hundred percent. And then you go and get this job and you stay there and you work your way up. Yeah. And then you get married and then you have two to three kids. Yeah. And it's like this very specific and something that I feel like, I don't know if you felt like, but we all compare our situation. Like when I was married I was like, oh, it'd be so fun to like run around and not be single, but like run around more and like do X, Y, and Z. And then now I'm like, Oh, it'd be so fun. Like I miss being in a relationship. I miss having that. So you just compare yourself and it's like, let's just be happy with where we're at because I would even like do it whenever you were with your ex. Like I would even do that to like my relationship. I'd be like, God, like should we be living together? Should we be like, oh really? Like kind of comparing it to mine. Of course. That's like human nature. Yeah, of course. I think a lot of people saw me get married too and they're like, should I be getting married? Like, what's going on? But like, wait, like are we? And then I'm like, mm-hmm. y'all. Like we ain't even been together five years even. Yeah. Like what? I know I'm kind of getting to this point too, where I'm like trying to plan my life. I'm thinking about it like, okay, well if I give myself a year to be single and then a year to find my person and then two, you know what I mean? I'm like Cage Hill, like Yeah, that's true. You do get very, your head, I get very like planning. I'm like, okay, I wanna have kids by this age, so I need to find my person by this time. It's like, bro, you have time and if something derails from that you like, It's spiral. Yeah. I, I definitely like have my moments where I'm like, okay, I need to like, take control. Yeah. Um, do you have anything else wrapped up for relationships? I feel like, again, I just wanna purpose that it was a two-way street and I'm never trying to talk shit. Okay, thanks. She's such an angel. Like, I'm really not, but I really am just trying to make sure I never, uh, I feel like when you're saying something and you know, it's, it's not like you, where you are in the relationship still. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because if I were in a, my relationship still, I'd be like, Hey, I'm gonna talk about this. Is that cool? Mm-hmm. but I can't ask him that. You know what I mean? And I'm not going to, I'm like, I wanna make sure I'm still being respectful because I did spend so many years with that person. Yeah. And. That's true. You're not trying to put yourself in a Yeah, I'm not trying to dig a sticky situation. And I loved his family. You know, I loved him for four and a half years. Yeah. And so it's like, I'm not trying to put myself in a sticky situation. Well, it's not like though, it's not like your whole relationship was just garbage. Like No, you guys had, I think that's why it was so like crazy at the end. Mm-hmm. Because it wasn't like, we weren't like toxic relationship, you know? Again, I don't know what he would say. Yeah. And I don't know his like, well, this is your perspective and you're right. Like, whatever. Thanks, queen. And I don't care if I'm being biased. You're like, I don't know. I'm just gonna always say it like, I would hope I would handle a situation the way that you're handling it, because it's just crazy to me that's really nice because I, I really don't think, I mean, I know the amount of times I've called my dad just like sobbing or the amount of times I've even just like literally cried on TikTok. Mm-hmm. But I think that's so, I don't know. I'm gonna hide myself up for a second. I think that's cool of me because nobody cries on the internet. Exactly. Nobody, no crying on the internet or, or it's like looked down on No, I would say literally, and I'm like, cause the people that do, the people are like, like, oh, you look like crazy. Well, it's always those apology videos that people are crying on the internet. Yeah. They're crying and like, yeah, that's true. That's true. Cause I've definitely been that person where I'm like, I would never cry on the internet. Oh, I've told myself that too. You're never gonna do that. But. A good thing has come out of it. Yeah, a hundred percent. Really good things have come outta it, so I hope to just continue that and hopefully make a blog. I don't think I have enough information to make a book that just seems really wild, but I would love to make a blog and just talk about, it's just so funny cuz we both wanna write books and they're so d, they're so different. So different. Mines like self-help and yours is well, and then like Fantasy love. I love that though. Yeah, I think that's great. My life's a movie, so whatever. I'm like, it's just, I'm just character. You're just a character. All of us are characters and I'm just like thinking of stories as we all go along Yeah, I think that's beautiful. That's exactly what it is. Yeah. Well, thank you guys so much for listening. I don't know absolutely what our next one is gonna be about, to be fully honest. But we have a list and we'll we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. But thank you guys so much for listening and we will talk to you. Little bye. Cry babies. Bye. Cry babies.