NO CRYING ON THE INTERNET

All About Friendships!

January 31, 2023 Katie Ridgeway + Lauryn Bennett Season 1 Episode 10

In this episode, Lauryn + Katie chat all about friendships - how to keep them, how to start adult friendships + the most controversial question: Are friendships breakups or romantic breakups harder!?

All right. It's a snow day here. Casey. Casey, welcome to the pod. Welcome to the pod, baby girls, pool boys, theys, badies. All, all, all of y'all out there. Um, how's everyone doing today? How are you doing today? You know, I'm good. I think that the snow day is making me feel something. I don't know. It's just making me happy, kind of. It's making me happy too, because the main reason I struggle with January is because it's just cold and miserable and long cold. Then nothing happens happening. Yeah. It's cold for no reason. This is why this is a nice breakup. Yeah. This is a nice snowing. I know. It makes me feel like I just wanna sit and be cozy and read. Speaking of reading, speaking of reading, I finished the simple wild and it was so good you guys before she like tells me like all the things about this. It was my book Rec. So I'm very much proud of myself for giving her that book rec and that she loved it. Yeah. That is such a heartwarming feeling. It was your book Rec and didn't realize it was over 400 pages, I think, or like right at, yeah. But honestly it flew by and I'm literally going to buy the second one. Yes. Today. Tonight, yes. And I'm gonna start it. It was a really, listen, it just made me really gi. It's sad though. Yeah. The Indian is sad, but, um, okay. I'm just gonna spoil it, so if anyone wants to read it, skip. Yeah. But the part where Jonah comes back mm-hmm. and he's like, I'm asking you to like, pretty much ask her to move. Yes. So now the second, have you read the second book? No, I've started it. So we're caught up now. Oh my gosh. So now I wanna read it. Am I gonna read it before you or do you wanna read it at the same time? We can read it at the same time. I'm gonna start tonight. Okay. So whenever you like, I mean, you'll finish it before me, but maybe I'm gonna start tonight and I just, who knows what's gonna happen in the second book. I know. I'm so excited. I think that they're gonna fall in love and have children. So what do you think about the whole situation with her dad? I thought it was really heartwarming, wasn't it? Yeah. I. Wish that maybe there was a little more progression with the dad in like the middle of the book, because I do think she's very much like anti dad, anti dad, and then doesn't see him a lot in the middle. Yeah. And then the ending is like about him dying. Yeah. And she's like, I'll never get this opportunity with like, in any of these opportunities with him. Mm-hmm. And so I just wish there was a little bit more of like, just solo them doing things. Yeah. But I think in the middle, I think that that was, I think that's so realistic though. No, it, it is for sure because like when it comes to grief mm-hmm. you know Yeah. You, you don't get to really like plan out like, okay, this is what we're gonna do beforehand or whatever. No, you're right. Don't know. Sometimes like it just happens. Yeah. The way it happened. I was just like, geez. Got you in your feels. It got me in my feels too. I did cry. I, I think, I just wish there was more like little awkward moments between them in the middle. Like that's kind of what I wish. Not that they acted like things were perfect between them, but maybe that there was some like little awkward Yeah. Like. Quirky moments. Yeah. But overall it was a five, outta five for me. So good. Like that's like my one small complaint. That's not even a complaint. You know what I mean? Yes. Like I enjoyed the book so much. Yes. I didn't wanna put it down. Yeah. And I just love it so much and I can't wait to read number two, tell you. I'm telling you like it's so good. Like the character development. Yeah. And just the, all these other stories like mm-hmm. it's just, who knows if that'll be my top. My top read for a while. That's one of my, because I still, I still remember, I still remember so many things from it. Just from you like talking so good. And I read it like over a year ago. At this point, I wanna say, I'm curious to see if the same characters that were in that small town will be in, cuz they're going to Anchorage now. Mm-hmm. Alaska. And I wonder if they'll still be there or how it'll be, so, yeah, I've started the, the second one. Okay. I have not finished it. So are they in there, the charact. I think I'm, might have to, I'm might have to like re like start it just because Familiarize yourself. It's been a minute. Yeah. Yeah. Um, that's, that was such a good book. Yeah. And so I will be reading in a second. Oh, I love a good series. I'm really happy that it's not ending. Like I'm happy I get more of them. There's no way that I could live with myself knowing that was a, if that was a standalone, oh my gosh. I probably wouldn't have read it. I know. Because it's too good. It's too good. I think there's like three. Ye. Uh, four. I think. Four. Yeah. Yeah. That's a lot. Yeah. Um, so that keeping me busy. But yeah. Any new life updates with you friend? New life updates? None that I can talk about right now. Yeah. No, that's kind of me too. I'm like, everything's kind of under wraps at the moment. Yeah. Um, it's like those influencers that are like secret like, um, so yeah, we can't say anything yet. Yeah. I can't see that's our lives yet, but, Yeah, I have something really you have saying in the works. You have something in the works. I can't wait to share with you guys. I love that. Um, so there's nothing going on with me. I have to get my wisdom demo out. do you have a date set for that yet? No. I go in a couple weeks. I actually go in like mid-February to see. We need to know. See, that's my consultation if we're gonna go. No, it's after. My consultation is after. So go to book Cloud. Yeah, we actually can. Yay. I forgot to tell you. So actually today I had to move. One of my other appointments got moved. Mm. And. Um, for the day that I was going to do my consultation, so I just moved my consultation like an hour before you came over. Okay. And I got it set. Uh, late February. Oh, okay. So I won't even know my surgery, I probably won't have surgery till March. I found like some old wisdom teeth videos. From when I had mine done, and I think it was not last August. August, was it last August? No, the August before that. Yeah. And. Not me. Not knowing, but just saying No, you. That's definitely like correct though. It was August, 2021. Yeah. So in the video it's just me. I'm sending a video to somebody I don't even know, and I'm telling them how like I look awful. I'll probably send you voice memos. Yeah, you should be. So no, you have to do a video. You have to, oh, I told my mom, I said, you're gonna record. She's coming down and she's gonna stay with me. Yes. Um, she'll pro. Well, honestly, I told her what I was like, we'll probably just sit in silence for the whole three days there, it's however many days. It was just so funny because I'm sitting there like with ice, like on my chin, I'm gonna buy one of those them. Yeah. Like chin, chin things like, yeah. Yeah. And, um, I'm only talking about how I look so awful. And then I was just talking so down on myself and all you hear is my mom being like, you're fine. And I, and I said, I'm fine. I'm fine. And then I remember when we got home she was, I need to see these. I know. I'll show you. Um, she was like, you need to go lay down, like you're still like drugged up and like whatever. And I felt great. And I was on the couch just running my mouth slobber everywhere. Like are you the one that told me that you wanted to go somewhere? Or who? Someone just told me that they were like, wasn't me. I literally felt like I wanted to go out. No, I don't. Okay. Someone told me that they were never told you that. Like their mom was like, no, absolutely not. My mom literally told me to stop talking and to go lay down because I was talking so much. The blood was just like collecting and it was. It was sick cause I was so numb. My, that's what Im not excited for. There's two, it's not really the surgery itself that freaks me out. I just don't wanna go through the recovery process, girl. But not being able to eat what you want is the hardest part about it. Mm-hmm. that's, I dealt with that with my gallbladder. Oh. Cause I couldn't eat stuff that was like higher in fat. Oh. Um, and I, so anything like, like I wanna, chick-fil-A so bad, couldn't eat it. And you can really, I like literally lived off of graham crackers and apple juice after my gall bladder surgery. Oh, that sucks. I love apple juice. You like apple juice? It's, yeah, I really do. So like, I feel like I used to be like, fine with it, but I don't like apple juice that much anymore. It's so flat. It's sad. Yeah, no, it kind of is, but something hits when you're sick and getting apple juice. Yeah, I like cranberry juice. Oh, that sounds so good. I love cranberry juice. Um, so today, after that we were talking about. Friendships, adult friendships and how to make them and yeah. How to make them. How to keep them, yeah. Um, all the things. Yeah. So, you know, just obviously whenever you're getting older between graduating high school. Yeah. Where you're, that's really when you leave high school, it's like you're learning Okay, who my real friends are and who was my friend, just cuz I saw them five days outta the week hours. I think everybody was just my friend cuz I saw them. Yeah. Cuz you can totally like isolated your self from all that. Well, everyone went to bigger colleges than me and I kind of went off into a smaller college. Oh, okay. I mean, the college we went to wasn't small but smaller than the bigger ones. It was. it's medium sized. It's like a D two school or something. Yeah, for like sports, so, so that's why I kind of isolated because I just didn't really go to those other schools to like visit. Yeah. And I didn't join a sorority or anything like that, so I just kind of chilled. Yeah. I think it's just what makes it interesting for certain people is. You go from doing the same exact thing as all these other people. Yeah. And then if you go to college or if you just immediately start working or if you, you know, aren't doing anything, like it's, you never really know. And then it's like depending on where you end up working. Yeah. Like are you working around, I don't know you, the people you end up being friends with in a work setting. You never really. No. You have people that are old, way older than you. That's like your bestie, literal, literally you have people that you think you're gonna click with and you're like, I actually can't stand that person. Yeah. You know, all of that. And I think that's the, this is like the period where you learn how to really maintain a friendship. Yeah. I think we're in it right now. Mm-hmm. like learning how to maintain, learning how to, What do we really want in France? Yeah. Because I feel like now we're all getting kind of full-time jobs, those kinds of things, but I feel like, I don't know. Yeah, working retail and then working as a server is just so different because. in server, you're just, you're surrounded by crackhead energy. It's chaotic. Like people are like, let's go out. Yeah. And it's 2:00 AM after you're done serving or like let's, that food service culture is something. No, it's wild. I did meet some really fun people though. And yeah, like people I got along with, I would say like retail when I met you, you're one of my best friends. Yeah, so that definitely played out. Um, there was a lot of really annoying girls in retail, girls, retail. There was pros and cons to both that I worked at for sure. But I'm glad that, like now I'm in hospitality. Yeah. Hospitality is different. And I really don't think I could ever go back to working as a host in the restaurant. Like, like I went to the restaurant that you did host at, uh, on Sunday. Yeah. And the hostess was really mean. Was she? Yeah. She's actually really mean. Wanted to go home. I hated her life. Um. I will say also being, I don't know if you experienced this as a hostess, but like as a server you can pop off on somebody so fast and then your friends literally in 20 minutes. God, it was always like that with us. Like if we're like slammed on a Friday or Saturday, like, don't talk to me. Yeah. Don't. Mess with me. Like don't do things. Yeah. And especially me, cuz you know me, I'm high anxiety. So like I mean you're just waiting for an opportunity to like I'm waiting to pop off Freak. Yeah. And so I was pretty good. I mean, I was never high anxiety at the table. Yeah. Like I was always so like very calm. I mean like at the host stand you're like kind of removed from all of that. Yeah. So it's annoying in the sense. You know that stuff is happening. Yeah. Y'all are probably getting annoyed with the servers. Exactly. And it's like we're busy and they keep coming up here telling me, don't seat me anymore, or whatever, and it's like, I literally don't care because. You're not the ones that have to deal with them sitting here asking when their table, they're not the ones literally, but they're also not managers. Exactly. So that stuff used to get on my nerves and like the people not liking each other and like it just so many different people coming to the host stand bitching and then leaving. I'm like, oh yeah, I used to do that too. Oh my gosh. And now I'm just sitting here like, we're so busy. Like I literally don't have the time or the energy to even care. Yeah. Like what's going on? I just. Like, just keep it going. Yeah. Keep it going. Just a good spot. What are some of your like best tips for like maybe maintaining an adult friendship or, I think really taking note of the people that go out of their way for you. Yeah. Makes space for you, um, is like the biggest thing. And sometimes like when you're not paying attention, you may not be realizing it, but when you really start to look at it, it's. who are the people that I can go weeks without talking to? Yeah. And then we schedule some weeks, months, years, who knows? Yeah. And then all of a sudden you guys can like just pick up right where you left off. That's huge. Um, not taking things So personally when it comes to not hanging out because we don't have time. Yeah. Fortunately we don't. Yeah. Um, for me and you like it's different. I think just because. Um, I will say we chat like we'll, text and voice, like I voice memo you a lot. Yeah. Um, I do sometimes. Yeah. I voice memo sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just normally voice memo you while you're at work. Yeah. So that's why. But I will say you and I chat, but we don't really catch up until. We're here with each other. Yeah. But we see each other on such a consistent basis. Yeah. It's like it's not a big deal. It's, it's like, okay, see you next week. Even before, even before, whenever we were only meeting up for dinner like once a month or whatever, we, it was really like, yeah, I don't know. We just were able to do that. Well, I don't think either of us ever got offended no. About things. And then also we just picked up, I'm kind of that way. Like if. I think also it depends on how our friendship started. Like if a friendship for me has started where I like consistently see the person, then I'll be like, oh damn. Like I don't see that person as much anymore. Yeah. But if it's like always mm-hmm. I don't know though, because we started at retail and we saw each other a lot then each other all the time. I don't know. At that's, we just really don't get offended. Like I don't get offended if I don't see someone for a while. I'm like, okay. Yeah. And I think too, it doesn't feel like forced or like, Ugh, I have to do this. Yeah. It's like, oh, I'm gonna see Katie today. And like, you know, like, it's just, it's cool. Yeah. Um, but yeah, just like there's time is just, it's something that we don't have control of. Yeah. And so don't waste it on trying to like, be friends with people that you feel like you should be friends with or like, oh, I've known them for this long, so yeah, I have to listen. You can meet your best friend, your friend for life, and you've only known them for like a little bit of time compared to a childhood friend. Yeah. Or whoever. So I don't know. I also think like, you know, it can be hard going from like high school to college and then kind of like adulthood, I guess What I was gonna say too was whenever. In your twenties, the things that like, cuz you're, you're constantly changing, right? Oh, a hundred percent. And the thing that I don't like, that I feel like friends have done to me sometimes is not like, almost criticize me for changing and growing because I'm like, you really can't expect me to be the same person I was whenever I was 19. Yeah. That's ridiculous. Like I'm 24 now, like people do change and that's okay. Some friends like don't allow like growth. Yeah, and that's also another thing. Yeah. Because it, it's almost like, and not that like going out and like drinking and whatever. If that's what you like to do for fun, then that's what you like to do for fun. Yeah. But sometimes like you, you grow out of things that maybe you did when you were younger, and so they can be vice versa. It's like, oh, you. when you first turned, like, I don't know, when you were 19, 20, 21, whatever, you were going out all the time. You were partying. Yeah. You were staying out super late and it was just like you were just like up and at it the next day at work and then you did it all over again. Yeah. That's what you were doing then. And then you just kind of got tired of doing it and then people get judged for that. Um, I have a question. What do you think a breakup or friendship breakup is? Harder? Friendship break. Really friendships Well, I do too. I think both are circumstantial. I think if it's been like a friend of, well, yeah, I probably would agree with you. Yeah. I think it depends on too, like. which, what kind of friendship are we talking about here? Yeah. Because there's the, the friends that were there prior to like a lot going on. Yeah. And then they like helped you get through it and then like, yeah. That is so hard. Yeah. And then I will say like losing a friend that I had grown up with from like seven, well, I've never lost her. Right? Like we can still text each, just like outgrow each other or something. Yeah. Like we just lived far away and. I think when you grow up you kind of, yeah. Like what you're saying earlier, like you just kinda have different lifestyles too. Um, and that's okay. Like it's not a bad thing if you have other people. Yeah, no, that's totally okay. I think that there can be like a lot of guilt and stuff too when you are going through like a friendship breakup. Mm-hmm. oh, I should have done this, I should have reached out to this person sooner. Like, I should've gone and hung out with them more. I should have X, Y, and Z. And I said, I think that can be really hard. Cause I think I, I held onto a lot of guilt for a while. Yeah. Or you might. struggle with like comparing it. Yeah. To other friendships you have. Cause it's like, am I ever going to have a friendship that's like that again? And I think no one talks about, everyone gives you advice on like heartbreak. No one gives you advice on like friendship breakups. So when you go through your first one, you're like, because I genuinely think, how do I do this is like an unpopular opinion. I don't know. But people don't place the same value on friendships as they do as romantic relationships. A hundred percent. you should be watering your friendships the same exact way, way, almost. Yeah. Because every time someone like gets like, they're single and they're hanging out with everyone, and then they get a boyfriend and they're like, bye. That's one thing I've told every single friend that I've had. I'm like, don't let me become that person. Yeah. I, I mean, honestly, I'm gonna be so conscious about it, like, yeah, I want to still have the same life I have now. Yeah. When I do get a boyfriend in the future, but it's like, yeah, that like going through. what I went through and then having like all of you guys I know, I mean, I always knew how important friendships were, but I also was always the person that put a guy above. Mm-hmm. I mean, honestly anything, to be honest. Not just friendships, but family. You like almost everything. You, I like idolized. You're having to like re um, like re like prioritize your mind almost. Yeah. To um, believing that like your value is not tied to whether you're in a relationship or not. Yes. And it's more that's literally how you value you and it's not tied to a guy. No, exactly. That's what I've had to Yeah. Learn. And so now I think that I'm like in my healing era mm-hmm. and learning that I think it will be easier for me to be like, nah. Like I'm not, and probably be able to really figure out, okay. Am I really feeling this guy? Yeah. Because once you start to love yourself, oh, it's so much easier to be like, Nope, you're not worth it. Yes. Because if you're with someone where the way they make you feel is like close to like how it feels whenever you love yourself, it's like, okay, like this might be it for me. Yeah. Or there's like, you know, and you want someone, like, I always see this cliche on. like quotes or TikTok or whatever. Mm-hmm. But you really do want someone who just adds to your life. Like you already have your whole life. Like Yeah. Not your whole life figured out necessarily, but you have your life together. Like you have a path, you're working on yourself, whatever. And you just want someone who can add to it and come in and improve your, your life. Yeah. And, and you know, and that can be in any kind of way. Yeah. You know? Um, so I don't know. And I think it's important too, to. This like turns like a relationship, like I know somehow it always does, but somehow, yeah. But I think it's also important to end up with someone that you can really enjoy the mundane things with. Yeah. No, that's so important. Mm-hmm. It's very, very important. I feel like I didn't really have that with my loss. Like I feel like it was very like, cause you guys are like go, go, go. Yes. And like this new project and then this new project and I feel. That's something that I definitely want, like a slow Sunday morning or like being able to enjoy like, like having that balance. Like you can have fun together and like, yeah. And then you can like be chill, you know? Cause I remember whenever, Corey and I, like when we hadn't traveled together yet. Mm-hmm. I was like nervous. Yeah. When we were like getting ready and then go on like our first road trip, I'm. so nervous. Yeah. About it. Um, but it, it was good. Yeah. The whole, the way there, the way the way back was even better. I love that. Even better. And I was just like, okay. Like, so that's almost like another test. It is. You should, I definitely believe, I love the thing I've seen about, you know, make sure you're with someone through each season. I just saw that the other day too. Yes. Yeah. I like that a lot. I love that. And then I think, Going on trips together is important too, because you never know is that person going to be somebody who this, I mean, I also think this with friendships though, we can tie that back. Mm-hmm. straight into friendships. Mm-hmm. like who's the more, who's the planner? Who's the blah, blah, blah. Mm-hmm. which, funny enough, I don't feel like either of us really, I think you, your intention is to do that, and I don't know if it's me that influences you to be like, Like rigid, whatever, like it's okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, like with the Dow chip, I was just like, try to, okay. Yeah. I think you like what time we're leaving. What time are we, but I do try, like I think you do, you do. You put more of an effort into like trying do that. Thank you. I'm just kinda like, honestly I'm already anxious thinking about having to do that. So we're just gonna, are we gonna road trip? Are we gonna literally go straight there? Go straight back this next time? Yeah. And I can drive this. you can take my car. Okay. Pop off. So that's totally. Um, do I trust your driving? I don't actually don't, you've never, like, you've always never driven when we've gone like somewhere like longer. So because up girl, I don't know why I always, I think you like to do it because I think you have I like control thing Uhhuh. Yeah. And I'm a speedy I'm speedy gal. Yeah. I mean, whenever I'm on the road, like I like to put on that cruise control hit about Yeah. Like 80 something. That's tough if I can, but Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I did. Good. Like I, I like to, I don't mind driving. Lecher, you drove to Georgia and back? Yes, so I did have help, but like, I mean, I still like, which I wouldn't mind driving either. Yeah, I think both of us are pretty. I just love being in the car, man. I love being in the car and Lauren loves. Road tripping. What'd I say? I'm like, I'm literally like a dog. I'm like a dog in the car. I don't like it. I love it so much. I'm just like, wow, look at this big wide world. I do love Dallas though. It's so beautiful. I know. Dallas was such a vibe. It was a vibe. Um, do you have anything else to say about friendships, I don't know. The, the last thing I will say is that this year just feels so pivotal for friendships. Really. Especially for you. Yes. Especially because, yeah, me too. Cause I had told you, like, I met up with like those girls, like I grew up. like, yeah. Did you have fun? It was so good. That's good. Um, it was very overwhelming just because I've known them. I'm, I've literally known like every single one of them since I was like three or four. Oh my gosh. Years old. It's, yes. I don't have any friendships like that, that I could meet up with. It's such a unique situation cuz it's like I'm not just meeting up with people that like I went to high school with. Like, yeah, I have no, there's no one that has known me longer except. my family. Oh my gosh. You know, pop off. It's very, it was just a lot. And like the environment that we were in whenever we were going to school was tough and, yeah. people. You really never know what people are going through the silent battles that people go through. You know, don't worry, you'll never know if I'm going through a si. No, you'll never, you'll never not know if I'm going through what to say. I was like, okay, go ahead and lie again because you, because I, I will know. Always tell you, I know I was thinking about this the other day, as I was literally sitting in bed and I was like, I cannot wait to live with Lauren cuz I'm just gonna go pop over there. I'm so excited. Especially this thing, I'm gonna go pop over that I'm like trying to, yeah. That will help her pops off. I would literally just be right there. I'd bug you so much though. You'd be so tired of my shit. It would be so good thing though. I was like, I cannot wait to just have you here. So I was like, wow, I can't wait until I live with Lauren cause I can just suck Ada over to her side. Just come on like, God, you know what I thought about too? We need to have each other on, on find My Friends, because then I'll know. Mm-hmm. If you're at Corey's or not, I'll never have to ask you. I can just pull up and be like, okay, shoot that course. I'll probably tell you anyways. No, you probably will. But I was just like, that way we are avoiding like, and if I ever go on a date, you know, you'll have to, oh girl, I'm literally, I'm going with. On the day, on my day. I'm following you there. I am following you there. Okay, I'll off. Oh, I'm probably gonna be just like, especially because you've never done like, um, like the dating app thing. I've never, so that's just a different ballgame. Okay. You'll, you'll protect me. Absolutely. And just make sure you're not like putting yourself in sticky situations. Well, don't worry if I ever need anything, I'll just call you. Absolutely. I know you and King Corey will come save. Oh, you already know. I'll be, To the truck? oh, I was gonna say something. It's been very rambly, chatty. Um, I actually saw one of my friends from high school. I went to church with her on Sunday. Oh. And it was so fun and good. She's kind of one of those people that like you can just catch up with, like, you could not see. I think I, last time I saw her was maybe a year and a half ago. And so I think we have plans to hang out again soon. Mm-hmm. I really liked the church too. It was a really good church. Um, can't go this weekend cuz I'm going back home, but I will be going back. It was so good. That's good. But yeah, she's kinda one of those people that I'm like, oh. like, this is good. Like this feels good. Like this is really fun. And pay attention to like how you feel around certain people, you know? Yeah. You really have to, that's so true. If you're like getting a lot of anxiety or if you feel like people are bringing more chaos into your life than like peace. Mm-hmm. it's okay to set boundaries. Yeah. I think people, it's hard to do, but I'll say, I think it's okay. People get really nervous to do that. Um, it takes a lot of, um, transparency and just like honesty, being straightforward to do that. Yeah. I think setting boundaries, people think that that's really selfish, but it's not at all. It's selfish in the best way. Yeah. It's like selfish for yourself. Yeah. And I think on the receiving side, you have to be open to hearing what people are upset with you about. if they're being transparent with you. Yeah. Like you can't take that. And I think it, it's really easy to hear something with friends and kind of pop off quickly. Yeah. Maybe it's just for me cuz I'm emotional. Yeah. But I feel like really taking it in, that's what I've been trying to do more so this year and I guess like a little bit last year, but just like really taking it in like, okay, what are they? trying to say, what do I really need to work on? Yeah. Because I'm really quick before. Yeah. I'm really quick before I get to point fingers and be like, well, you're doing this. Yeah. And it's like, well, that's not what we're talking about. Yeah. let's try and figure out. I'm not the best at it, but I'm, I'm working on it. Yeah. That's something I'm really, really working on. I have to work on it too. So you're not alone. All of us probably have to do better in that. No one's got that down. Especially if you have like an off day. I mean, yeah, you're not gonna have the perfect response and all that all the time. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know. Friendships are hard, but that's why you gotta be very decisive about it. Yeah, and I. the older you get, kind of the smaller your circle gets, but I feel like that's almost okay. Mm-hmm. I'd much rather have a smaller circle than a super large one that I like can't keep up with, or that it's drama all the time, or it's crazy than whatever baby, the amount of quote unquote. Friends I had whenever I was, um, like a couple of years ago even. It's like there's no way. Yeah. There's no way to maintain that. And like when I remember like being in a group of friends, like a group, group of friends, there was always stuff going on. Always. It was never like, it may have looked good, but there it was. Yeah. It was not it. So I've never really had like a group. Uh, except for high school, maybe like early college, I had a group. Yeah. Mm-hmm. But yeah, there was always some kind of drama popping off and so it's exhausting. It's really exhausting, especially once you like, if you like, remove yourself from it and you just kind of are going about doing your thing and then you. Kind of get back into it a little bit. It's like, yeah, this is, this ain't it. This ain't working. This is too much. Yeah, it's too much. Yep. Um, so anyway, thanks y'all for joining this The Ram, really short episode kind of episode, but we just wanted to chat it up a little bit. Yeah. We wanna chat up on the snow day, just provide a short episode if y'all have any recommendations. Mm-hmm. please give it to us. Yeah. And we will be, next week. Yep. We love you guys. In your ears. In your ears. Again, love you. Love you, quickies.