Mental Health - REAL talk

In today's episode, Lauryn shares a bit more about her mental health journey and how she's feeling!

Transcript

0:08

Remy is staring me down right now. Remy? Yeah. Hi everyone. He's one out. Oh my gosh. Hi guys. It's been actually a couple weeks has been too, right? Yeah. I'm sad. That's crazy. It, it feels like my first time, like all over again. I know. I'm scared. I'm scared. Mommy, I'm skilled. Um, welcome back to the pod guys. We miss you. Welcome back to my chair, Great. Um, so. We decided, well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait. Back up, back it up. Back it up. I have a very, Lauren has a very controversial opinion to share. Me and Lauren just actually almost fist fought before this episode. Oh, we haven't disagreed that hard. We haven't disagreed on anything except this, and I will die. It's so crazy. It's so crazy. No. Okay. I forgot what it was. Oh, we were talking about book club. Okay. So we were talking about book club. Mm-hmm. And I was like, yeah, we're going next, uh, Tuesday. and or Wednesday, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. And then, um, she was just like, no, like not next Tuesday or something like that. And I was like, girl, it's, it was like two weeks. It's a new week. Like it's next week. No. No. Okay. Lauren is convinced this, it's Sunday when we're recording this, by the way. So Lauren is convinced that Sunday to Saturday is. No, no, no. Yeah, that's my week. Monday through. Here's the thing though. At first you didn't say, this is my week. You just said No. That's how the weeks. Yeah. That is how it goes, Yes, it does. Sunday to Saturday can, can people comment on this episode and please, they're gonna say it's Monday through Friday or whatever. Monday through Saturday, Sunday. Okay. I don't even know the week I want to be. Right. So I need them to comment because that's just what everybody does. But for me, I do like your I do. Okay. Everyone don't comment because Lauren does have a good reason, and I want her to feel entitled to her. I don't have a good reason for the reason why. I like Sundays being. The first day, the start of a new week is because Mondays are genuinely hard. Yeah. And I don't know, it just freaks me out. They are hard. It's like Monday starts and it's like, life just kind of starts it like jolts you. Yeah. And Sundays are just, I don't know. The vibes for Sunday are a good, like first day of the week vibe. I do like that friend. Yeah. I do appreciate that. She's like, thanks for coming to my TED talk. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. But you're wrong. It's so wrong. No, I, I mean it, it's whatever. I hope you guys liked our icks. Um, I was a little unhinged. She was. And I think I had a great time though. I had a great time. Yeah. Um, today we're gonna be talking about mental health. We're like definitely switching gears cause I've been absolutely spiraling Yeah. Lauren's been feeling at y'all. So we decided to talk about mental health. Yeah. And just kind of, I don't know, sharing. The reason I wanna talk about it is just because I feel like when you're feeling really down, It's really easy to forget that the way you're feeling. Like other people know what that feels like too. Yeah. And you can like reach out and like talk to people. Yeah. Especially if people are like me that kind of fold in on themselves. Rec clues a little. I get so deep in my own head. Yeah. It's so bad. I'm the complete opposite. I know. That'll talk your entire ear off. Yeah. It's just so crazy because I feel like some people see me as that way. And I think I used to. I used to for sure. And now I know you better. So we wanna talk about mental health. Mm-hmm. do you have anything you first wanna say about just what, how you've been feeling? Yes. So I think the reason why it was, I feel like I was riding this high of like, speaking really positively about myself. Yeah. And about my situation and, um, kind of being like, oh, I'm so lucky. Everything's gonna work out for me. And like it does. That's stuff that we've been like it talking about the lucky girl, Uhhuh, syndrome, whatever, heavy on that. I was like, okay, you know what, yes. And I'm starting to come back around to that again. Um, but I think. After a while just because I was being so positive. Yeah. I had like something happened and I just kind of, I don't know. It's almost like you're on top of this building and then you're just kind of like, yeah. Slowly, like just falling, like that's like how I was feeling. I feel like though, do you remember my therapist said, I, I told you a while back, but I don't know if you'd remember, but how like my therapist was, Oh, you were riding on this like go, go, go high. Yeah. And now you've kind of come back to reality. Mm-hmm. and you kind of crashed a little. Mm-hmm. And now you're just coasting, which is good. Yeah. Like maybe that's what happened to you. I don't know. You kind of had to dip. Yeah. And then, yeah. And then now you're getting to the point. I personally believe that you're on the brink of a breakthrough. Yeah. That's just personally what I believe for you. I know, but I think. we all go through this, you know? Yeah. Do you wanna touch on any reason why you've been feeling low or no? Um, I would say like the thing that's really been bother bothering me is like, it's really important for me to, whatever it is I'm doing in life, that I love what I'm doing. Mm-hmm. Um, and when work starts to feel like work, because I don't have periods where it doesn't feel like that, I'm like, you know, I should be just lucky to have a job. Yeah. And be able to actually get up and go somewhere, you know? Yeah. Um, but when work starts to feel like that and I'm not happy doing it, I start to get in my head, like, almost like talking myself into thinking I'm gonna be stuck. Oh, there. And I'm like, when? Like, you have full control over. Yeah. I'm never stuck. Even if. Wherever I do end up, if it's not what I think I should be doing, it might be better for me, better than I imagined. Who knows? Yeah. But as for what I can see right now, it's just, I don't know. Like I'm okay, but I, I know I could be better. Yeah. Right now I'm okay. Bef like couple days ago I was not doing okay. I was like freaking out. I think though, it comes back to another thing with not having. like a steady routine. Mm-hmm. I feel like that can really f a personnel. I know, I know. Like not having a steady like routine. Mm-hmm. cuz you're kind of back and forth. I'm all over the place. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And so I think that once you can kind of nail Yeah. Or like dial that in just even a little bit. Yeah. I think that's gonna help you a lot. And I will say too, I do this a lot. It's a really bad pattern and I need to quit doing it, but I. be taking my medicine because transparency here, I take anxiety medicine. I too hop off, you know? Um, I take my meds and then I'll be doing like good. And I'm like, I don't need those. Mm-hmm. I'm good. And then something will happen and I like break down. No, you need to just always be, it's so bad taking them. I like talk myself out of think I need it. I'm like, girl, you don't need. The one day I tried to not take them. Yeah. Granted I was already depressed and then I was like, this was last summer. Mm-hmm. And I was like, I, you know what? I need a challenge. I just need not take'em. And I, I know spiral rolled up. It's little stuff like that though, like that's not necessarily what got me where I am right now. But yeah, in the past, cuz this is a cycle I've been doing No. So bad. It's just, I just coast on them now. I'm like, it's a nightly thing for me. It's so bad. So that also I think is. Yeah. Everything feels so much more like heavy. Yeah. Like everything. Have you started taking them again? Mm-hmm. Yeah. So maybe in a couple days. Like it's, I feel like almost like, I don't know, like the clouds are parting a lot. Like tranquilized kind of where it's kind of like Like you're just kind of coasting. Yeah. Cause it's kind like here. Cuz I was like down here and I'm like right now. Which is better than Yeah. That's why when you were like, how are you? I. like, fine I was like, okay. Pop off Yeah. And, and for me, like that's not like bad. That's not bad. Yeah. Yeah. Like today hasn't been bad or anything and today's been better than the other days, but yeah. You know, we move on and I feel like I've done little things because I, I, I freak myself out cause I know what it feels like to be depressed and I don't want to be like that again. Yeah. And so, um, I just have tried to like do little things. That I think will help me. Mm-hmm. Cause I think some of my triggers are like when plans don't go as I think they should or Yeah. I'm like in my brain something works perfectly this way but it's not happening that way. Yeah. So I get nervous and then I bought myself a planner and did that help or no? I'm looking for a therapist. Yep. Okay, good. I mean, it's a habit I'm trying to get used to, so yeah. Do you wanna speak on that? Do you wanna speak on like, cuz I've been in therapy for, I wanna say four years now. Four? Three. Three, I think. So kind of like, walk me through like what kind of made, if you feel comfortable sharing, but like what made you feel like ready to seek out therapy? Kind of like all, like how's your mindset on that? Um, because I don't really remember, for me, I just know I was kind in a bad place. I think just, um, coming out of like at a really depressed state and then. Looking back and kind of being like, you know what, I might be sad right now, but I'm not how I was then. Yeah. And then feeling as low as I did the other day. I was like, I scared myself. I've never seen you that low. Yeah. It was bad. I think I scared myself pretty bad. Mm-hmm. and um, just scared yourself because you didn't want to go back into depression. Yeah. Cuz it's hard to pull yourself out of it. Yeah, a hundred percent. Like, like I told you before we started like just feeling. so bad that mm-hmm. getting up out of bed just physically hurts and the way that I would feel. So just like overwhelmed if I was there last summer, like mm-hmm. in my room and just like, yeah. Sleeping or whatever. Like, I, I can't do that again. No, I do not need press. I wanna be like that again. Yeah. So, and then just like talking to my mom, she's like, cause I would, I would call her mm-hmm. I had like a breakdown, like, I don't even know, like four times. Yeah. In the span of, I don't know, it was a couple days. It just was not good. And so I was talking to my mom and she pretty much was just like, you know, I'm always here to talk, but you can't just talk to me. Yeah. Like, I'm, I'm not a therapist. Mm-hmm. I, I can't, you need like a non-biased Yeah. Yeah. She was like, you need to talk to someone that's outside of that. Yeah. So, and I've never talked to anyone about like, the grief with, from like my dad either. And so that's like a whole other thing. And I know I need to talk to someone about it, but I just don't want to. Yeah. I don't know, it's just easy for me to like, not really talk about stuff. I don't know. I like when people talk to me about their stuff. So yeah. I think though that once you start going and like really build a relationship with this person mm-hmm. You're gonna love going, because I love my therapist. Like I love going to ther, but it did take me a couple ther, like therapists before I found my, yeah. Like I love mine. She's also psychologist, so like, it just, she's a PhD. A PhD, so it just feels right. So I'm just trying to like keep at it, you know? Yes. Like, Stop when you know, don't get discouraged. That's what I told you to do. Yeah. Like don't get discouraged if you're like, okay, like I liked talking to her, but you know, some, and I would say like, which I'm not a therapist expert or anything. Mm-hmm. But like if it doesn't feel right off the first one, I probably wouldn't go back. Because you don't wanna have to keep telling the same stories over and over to different therapists. Cuz I had to do that and I was like, I do not wanna relive this with you. I just want you to know my life. Yeah. I just already know it. Yeah. And that's the thing too, I'm like, I just, ugh. I don't wanna. dive into all this stuff. Can't you just know me like Yeah, just, yeah. But once you find the person that like clicks mm-hmm. that's so great. Yeah. I love my girl. So that's like, that's the, that's the goal. But that's really what kind of, it's, it's a several things, but mm-hmm. those things are kind of what got me to the point where I was like, okay, yeah, I cannot do this, like as an adult. But yeah, I've just, it's a little, it's been giving Sad Girl for like the past two weeks, and I'm over it. They're giving sad girl. Yeah. I think that's okay though. Yeah. I think it's okay to feel sad. Mm-hmm. me and my Enneagram for, I'm like, it's okay. It's okay. It's needed. I don't even know what my Enneagram. Wait, what? I don't think so. No, I think I'm like a four wing five? No, no, four wing three, something like that. Yeah, probably. I'm a four wing three. I actually need you to take it like immediately after this. I'm gonna make you take it. Yeah. I'm a four wing three. Are you a four wing Three for some. I mean, I wouldn't just pull that out of my ass, you know, like, can you retake it? I really need to know. Um, the questions overwhelm me. I was like, I would do all of these. Okay, well you heard it here first. Everyone I do think you're actually in Ingram four cuz you do like to, that's just strange to me though, how we're both ingram's fours, but act so different when we're sad. Yeah. I need to call everybody I know and talk through the situation. Everybody I know everyone well different people for different times. I mean, the people that I'm, I call you, I mean, I talk to all you. I tell, uh, my mom Corey knows. Um, I don't know. Yeah, I just, but you also like are okay with, I think whenever, like, I was sad last summer, I was also with somebody who kind of didn't really believe in depression or anxiety, so that's hard. But also somebody who is like, well, you just need a, you need a c. And it's hard. You need to start 75 hard. You need to start. Okay. Yeah. And that's hard when you're depressed. So I think that that kind of spiraled me even more like really small stuff. And that's the thing too, like when you're depress when so doesn't understand, that's hard. That's hard to explain. Cause it's like, no, listen, I literally feel like really sad for no reason. Yes. Because the only thing that would help me is making a list for myself and it being like the most. Like basically get out of bed, like literally shower number one and get out of bed. Mm-hmm. brush your teeth, shower and like being able the things you can actually cross off. Yeah. Yeah. Like that. I heard someone say that that's what they do and I was like, okay, like I'm gonna do that. And then it worked. Yeah, it worked. So I did it. Um, I also think with just like the weather that we're in too. Oh yeah. I think that once the sun comes out, you're gonna feel a lot better too. Do you take any vitamins? You need to. Yeah. Like vitamin D especially, we're all, yeah, we're all low on vitamin D. Everybody take it. Yeah. Yeah. Just kidding. I'm not a doctor, huh? But I mean, I'm pretty, I think that's accurate though. I think it is too. Um, magnesium is supposed to be really good. Yeah. Like when you're going to bed, like for stress relief. I heard that too. It helps with sleep. I heard that most women are low on zinc as well. Uh, nobody I know Iron is what, and iron. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Nobody backed me up. Nobody come for me because, yeah. I will say like having small little goals, even if it's like walk for 10 minutes outside. Yeah. Or especially when it's like nicer outside. Mm-hmm. have you read Atomic Habits? Mm-hmm. No. I don't really read those things kind of books, but I want you to. I know, but it's just hard. do those kinds of books motivate you or make you feel like shit? Like make you, it just makes me feel like, ugh. Okay. Okay. Because I, they motivate me, but I was hearing another girl's perspective about how like it makes her feel bad because she doesn't do those things already. Yeah. And I'm like, that's not me. It can be really overwhelming cuz I'm like this, it can't person that wrote this has to be like a fully. Developed like Yeah. You know what though? Craig Rochelle just came out with a book I really wanna read. Mm-hmm it's called The Power to Change. Mm-hmm And apparently his books are really good. I've never read one really, but I do actually want to read this book. Yeah, I think it could be good. I think the reason it's hard too, just for me, like I don't even know if it's really just, oh, it'd make me feel bad. It's more so just cuz when I read like. The way that I'm utilizing it is different. Like I can be having the worst day possible, and if I'm not in a reading slump, first of all, that'll make me feel even more sad if I am in a reading slump. Yeah. On top of being sad. But that's like my number one way to feel better is read. Yes. I feel like reading has been like your therapy almost. Mm-hmm. in the past. I think that's why you're so like passionate about it. Yeah. Cause it's like helped you through so many hard times. Yeah. I'm like, you don't like this reality. Jump into another one. Bye. I know that sounds terrible, but I'm so serious. Not really. Cause I feel like that reading helped so many. Reading honestly helped me through my divorce for sure. Mm-hmm. I did not wanna read a single like fiction book for a long time. And then I was like, you know, I will. And then I was like, wait, this is really fun, It just makes me, it makes me feel really good. Just that, I don't know, I don't know how to explain it. Love and like a light and like so out of my own head. but like, how have you, how have you been? How have you been feeling and how have you been just mentally. Yeah. Wow. Mm-hmm. thanks for letting me talk. No, I'm just kidding. you've been interviewing me. I'm like sick of it. I know. I love interviewing you because I'm like, you don't open up very often, so I'm like, give it to me. I know you gimme everything, but I will if you ask me questions. Yeah. Because sometimes I'm like, I don't know. And then once I start talking, I know, it's like, wow, like you're such a deep person. I know like earlier I was like, how are you doing? You're like, fine. I was like, uh, you need more than that Um, I'm doing honestly Uhhuh friend. I'm doing. Good. I know. I have not been able to say that in about a year. I love maybe more, maybe less than that for sure. Maybe like eight months. Yeah. I got really sad over the summer. I was sad girl. No, and I don't think I told anybody. That's crazy. You didn't tell me at all. I had no idea. I didn't tell anybody because I thought you were just busy and she's living her life. I'm like, good for her. I was. I think I honestly really only told. But I would like call him and I would be crying and he'd be like, do I need to meet you somewhere? like, are you bloody? What is going on? Yeah. Yeah. And so I was just like, I'm unwell. Mm-hmm. And I think just, I loved my job, but I got really busy with my job and then I don't really, I think I just was so isolated from everyone moving so far away that I got really sad. and then, you know, I obviously got divorced. Mm-hmm. And so I feel like finally for the first time in like eight months, I can say like I'm actually like happy with where my life is at. Good. And I was talking about this on TikTok today, but like I feel like there's a prevo me and an after divorce me. Have I told you this? Uhuh? I just feel like I feel. I feel the same. Right. Like characteristic wise and personality-wise, I feel the same, same girl. But the after divorce me is just feeling more like myself. Mm-hmm. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling happy in my skin, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling like I'm becoming more me, if that makes sense. No, I think it makes sense. Do I hate like the dating world? Yeah. Am I gonna hate that? Yeah. Yeah. But because you're, I mean, you're like forcing yourself to. Embrace what singleness this world. Yeah. Yeah. I am. I'm really trying hard to just like think you're doing a good job though thank you. one thing you've really helped me out with is like, I don't have to have it all figured out. Yeah, that's one like, life lesson you've really taught me in the last month. Like I'm just chilling wherever the wind takes me. Like I truly, what I told my therapist, I am coasting and I'm kind of loving it. Yeah. Like I feel like in the past too, like it's been really hard because I've always felt like I needed to be doing more or like. Making more money, which like I do really want to focus in on and hone in on work this year. But like, I mean, that's part of why I was sad. So what? Just like, not like I feel like I should be making more money, doing more like that kind of stuff. So, but I used to feel like that and doesn't get you anywhere, just makes you always feel worse because you get to the next achievement and you're like, Okay, well what's next? Yeah, that's true. And so like, now I'm finally getting to the point where I'm like, wait, I actually really love the life I'm creating. Mm-hmm. And like what my future is gonna be, but like, you know, moving in with you and like traveling for my birthday and like us going on a trip, like I'm looking forward to those things. But like, I also genuinely like really loving my day to day. Yeah. And I've honestly never feel like I've never been able to. It's always been like, what's next? And I feel that's how I feel kind of Right, right Now. Another thing that I was thinking, or that I saw on TikTok though was like, why are you rushing this season of your life? Cause you'll never get it back. That's true. And that kind of like makes me feel like, okay, our twenties are literally to be doing this. Yeah. Let's true. Like our twenties are literally to be figuring out our life career, figuring out our dating lives, figuring out, and like you've got the dating life down. Yeah. It's really just figuring out your career. Yeah. I've kind of got the career down. Yeah. It's really figuring out about, you know what I mean? So it's like, it's like puzzle pieces. Mm-hmm. like, like fitting in our little Tetris game. Yeah, I guess so. You know? Yeah. It's. It's just hard because when you like look around and you're like, okay, I understand I'm in my twenties, but mm-hmm. I just, ugh. I don't know. Just wanna, well, and what I was saying wasn't meant to be like, you can't ever feel sad or like, you can't ever feel down because Yeah. I definitely have and still do. But it's like,, why did this happen to me? Or like, why am I not here yet? Mm-hmm. But it's like, we can be sad about it. Yeah. It's okay to feel, I think people like, which of course we don't ever wanna be depressed, but I think it's okay to be sad about things. Yeah. And like want to work for things. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. That's. It's just, that's, that's just really where, where I've been at. Mm-hmm. And I think too, because I literally left my last job because of my mental health. Yeah. You know, and then feeling sad again. So I'm like, okay. That also is another reason why I was like, okay, I need a therapist. Because eliminating something that I thought was like, making me feel worse. Oh yeah. I still like, like I'm. not that great again. So, so you're like, maybe it's not the job. Maybe it's, I mean it was stressful. It was the job, so Yeah, I was about to say that was definitely the job was that point, you know? Yeah. But it just sucks cuz it's like, I just wish that didn't happen to me. And it does. Like, what didn't happen to you? That I just get like in these really deep, um, sad and depressive like moods. But Can I say something? I think that you're trying to like, Work hard to go against it, which I think is fine. Mm-hmm. But I think allowing yourself to ride the wave and also like doing things to kind of help yourself, which you are. Yeah. Yeah. But like instead of punish, having like a punishing mindset, having like a, okay, this is how we feel right now. What can I do to feel better? Yeah, it's true. Cause I know you probably do that, but like just kind of working with it instead of working against it. I feel like that's kinda like what I'm trying to do now. That's what I'm saying. I feel like you're doing really good right now. Right now I'm trying cuz I know that's what, not what I was doing before. Yeah. In the past I think you would've isolated. Yeah. I would just like let it totally consume me and so, um, so like getting the planner and reaching out to people, I'm so proud of you about. Thank you. I really am. I appreciate that. It's not easy. No, it's not. Say that you need therapy or like, be honest and real with yourself, you know? Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's really hard. And, um, so I don't, yeah, I mean that's, that's really it. I'm just, I'm, I'm trying. So we're all proud of you. Thank you. The, the crying girlies are all proud of you, girl. The criers, dec cry babies. Um, I also wanna preface that we are not medical professionals. No, we're not. So you. And, or feel like you need to seek help, please do so. Mm-hmm. Um, but you can always talk to us. Our dms are open, so Oh, 100%. We're just not therapists. We're just not a therapist. We, yeah. No, not therapists, but dms are always open. Mm-hmm. on no credit on the internet. Absolutely. Or like personal, if you have my personal Yeah. Or if you have our email, no credit on the internet. dm.com. Yeah. you can always message us anywhere. Yeah. My, um, fitness Instagram is always open. Our dms are always open. Mm-hmm. um, it's just no telling, which. Which one of us you're gonna get on the Honestly, we're just kind of like, Hey, you should, should definitely like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Say something A hundred percent. But yeah, I don't know. I just felt like I needed to just be transparent and like share where I'm at right now. Because if I came on today and was just like super happy, whatever, that's not how I'm feeling right now. No. That, that's not real at all. So, yeah, and I think being honest and trans transparent is the best way to be. So, um, yeah, I feel like that's how we've always been. We've always been, I'd have to say I think so too. Yeah. Whatever has been going on, we're always like, Hey, this is the deal. This is what's happening. Mm-hmm. um, do you have anything else to say about mental health? No, just that, um, if you're feeling how I'm feeling, we're gonna be okay. Yeah. You're gonna be okay and just try to make today better than yesterday in any way you can. Yeah. And something I was thinking about too is I was like, wow, I cannot believe it really does truly get better. Mm-hmm. because I was like, wow, I cannot believe. Sad. I was just a couple months ago. Mm-hmm. sad, everyday crying every multiple times a day. Mm-hmm. Um, but it gets so much better and like life, I don't know. I'm gonna get emailed, but it does, it gets so much better. Yeah. And life gets better and you'll be okay. Thanks. I do. I I do believe that. I do. Um, I'm always here for you, friend. Thank you. Are you about to cry? No, Okay. I love you. I love you. He Okay. Well, I mean, I'm, I think we're, we're good. I think that mm-hmm. this is, you know, a good place to stop for today. I hope, I hope y'all got some kind of wisdom from us. Again, we're not professionals, but, or some nuggets of like good stuff too. Yeah. And just like, oh, okay. I'm going through that too. Yeah, like, it do. I don't have to be alone through this. Mm-hmm. Well anyway, Ryers, we love you so much. We sure do. And we'll catch you next time. Okay. Bye. Bye.